Starting therapy can feel like a big step. Even when you know you want support, there can still be questions about what actually happens when you walk into your first therapy session.
If you are stressed, anxious or just completely overwhelmed, the idea of talking about yourself, speaking to someone or even just having to talk about things you may not want to can be really difficult.
Do I have to talk about everything straight away? What if I don’t know what to say? Will I be expected to explain my whole life? What happens if I get emotional?
The short answer is: there is no perfect way to start therapy.
Your first therapy session is about getting comfortable, getting acquainted, and beginning to understand what has brought you to therapy. There is no expectation that you arrive with everything figured out.
Come in, get comfy, grab a drink
I like to keep the first therapy session informal and as low-pressure as possible.
We’ll start with a little bit of housekeeping and admin. This might sound like the least exciting part of therapy, but actually, it can be a really useful way to break the ice and settle into the space.
We’ll talk through the therapy process, make sure you’re happy with the therapy contract, and go over confidentiality and any important boundaries around our work together. It’s also an opportunity to talk about any accommodations or adjustments you might need to make therapy feel accessible and comfortable for you. If you are coming to therapy in our offices in southampton, there are plenty of things like fidget toys for you to grab (we are neurodivergent friendly ;))
This isn’t a test, and you don’t need to memorise anything beforehand. I’ll talk you through what you need to know and make space for any questions you have.
It’s also about getting acquainted with each other. Therapy is a relationship, after all, and it’s important that you have a sense of who you are sitting with and what you can expect from our sessions.
So, why are you seeking therapy?
At some point, we’ll come to the question of what has brought you to therapy.
For some people, we may have already talked about this during a consultation call. For others, this might be the first time you’re really putting it into words.
Before your first session, you’ll also have completed some forms, and I will have read the information you have chosen to share with me. This means you don’t necessarily have to start completely from scratch.
But there is something really valuable about hearing it directly from you.
We can have a conversation about what is happening for you, what you’re struggling with, what you would like support with, or perhaps what you’re hoping might change through therapy.
You don’t have to have the “right” words. You don’t need to give me a perfectly organised timeline of everything that has ever happened to you. You can simply start wherever feels most relevant.
Sometimes that might be, “I don’t really know where to start.”
And that’s okay too.
Your first therapy session can go in different directions
There isn’t a set script for exactly how your first therapy session will go.
It can depend on the therapeutic approach we’re using, what you feel comfortable talking about, how much time we have, what you’ve come to therapy for, and how the conversation develops naturally.
Sometimes we might spend most of the session exploring what has brought you to therapy. We might start noticing patterns, talking about particular experiences, or beginning to understand how things have been affecting you.
Other times, the first session may be more focused on getting to know each other and building trust.
And sometimes, you might surprise yourself and find that you have a lot you want to talk about straight away.
There really is no right or wrong way to have a first therapy session.
You are allowed to take your time.
You are allowed to say that something feels difficult to talk about.
You are allowed to change your mind about what you want to discuss.
And you are allowed to ask questions.
You don’t have to have it all figured out
One of the biggest misconceptions about starting therapy is that you need to know exactly what you want to get from it before you begin.
You don’t.
You might know exactly why you’re looking for therapy. Or you might simply know that something doesn’t feel right anymore and you need some support to work out what is going on.
Both are completely valid reasons to seek therapy.
Therapy is not about coming into your first session with a prepared speech or a list of everything you need to fix. It’s about creating a space where we can start making sense of things together.
The first session is just the beginning.
Over time, we can develop a better understanding of what you need, what feels helpful, and where you would like our work together to go.
What if I feel nervous?
Feeling nervous before your first therapy session is incredibly understandable.
You’re meeting someone new and potentially talking about things that are personal, difficult or vulnerable. It makes sense if you feel unsure about what to expect.
You might even wonder whether you’ll be judged or whether you’ll “do therapy properly”.
You won’t be expected to perform.
My role is not to judge you or tell you that you’re doing therapy wrong. The first session is an opportunity for us to start building a relationship where you can hopefully feel safe enough to explore what is going on for you at your own pace.
So, if you’re feeling nervous about starting therapy, you’re not alone.
You can simply arrive as you are.
Ready to start therapy?
Choosing to start therapy can be a really important step, whether you’re dealing with something that has been going on for years or you’ve reached a point where you simply know you need some additional support.
Your first therapy session doesn’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to know exactly what to say. You just need to show up.
From there, we can take it one step at a time.
If you’re considering starting therapy and would like to find out more, you can book a therapy session and take that first step towards getting the support you need.
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